Sunday, September 16, 2012
Why Anger Hurts - And How to Heal
How many times have we been told that anger only (or mostly) hurts the person who is angry? Or that we should forgive others for our own sake? Anyone who's ever been angry, or frustrated, or held a grudge, which is pretty much 100% of the human population, knows that negative emotions hurt, emotionally. But are there other proven, perhaps long-term physical effects of being angry, or negative? Think of a car that is constantly being driven too fast, taking sharp turns without slowing down. Or a dishwasher that is always full, always running, the water temperature set on "hot." We would expect these machines to experience stress in some areas, to wear out from all the pressure, right? Well, the same could be said about the human body if it's frequently tuned to red: anger, or some similar upsetting state.
According to Ted Zeff, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide, "When you become upset with someone, chemical changes occur in your body. When you are feeling resentment and frustration, stress hormones activate the central nervous system and you eventually become habituated to increased muscle tension, heart rate, and blood pressure." In the short term, these conditions might not seem terrible, but consider what happens when our body's hormones begin working against us. Zeff says that a stress hormone called "catecholamine," which is similar to adrenaline, is released during acute anger. An excess of this hormone produces apprehension, anxiety, and fear. When catecholamine increases the heart rate, cardiac problems can result. In addition, when a person is upset in terms of anger, frustration, or resentment, there is an excess of cortisol in the blood stream. This hormone, when present, actually increases agitation, while decreasing serotonin--the hormone that helps us feel calm, happy, and fulfilled. Therefore, becoming intensely angry on a regular basis is like adding fire to fire; the more angry a person feels, the longer they will feel angry, and the harder it will become to put out the flames. Finally, Zeff states, in a chronic angry state, our endorphins, which create a sense of joy, literally dry up. Chronic anger, then, can lead to depression.
No doubt, when someone's actions or words upset us, it is easy and natural to become angry. We're only human, after all. However, anger is, quite literally, bad for our health. Many experts tout the benefits of practices such as meditation, yoga, and exercise, to stabilize our emotions. But sometimes, especially for those of us who struggle with intense, chronic anger, this advice is too generic. For those of us who are tired of chronic negative states, those of us who wish to avoid letting anger affect us or our relationships for too long, Zeff suggests the following scripted "heart-centered visualization" meditation:
"Think of a recent experience when you felt hurt by another person and became angry. Is your attention focused on your head or your heart? Now breathe deeply and slowly into your belly. Focus on the air filling your abdomen and slowly exhale. Now shift your awareness to the left hand...left elbow...left shoulder...left side of chest into your heart. Feel your heart expanding with love. Deeply experience the peace and harmony in the stillness and calmness of being centered in your heart. Next visualize a positive experience that you've had with the same person. How did you feel toward that person then? Take plenty of time to really visualize their good qualities. Ask yourself, can you let go of the anger? Will you let go of the anger? When will you let go of the anger? The heart knows only love and will always let go of anger. Keep returning to the heart until you have released the anger. Once you have released the anger, you have shifted from a head-centered judgmental framework to heart-centered, caring love."
Of Zeff's script, certain skeptics (like myself) might ask, "If the heart knows only love, why does anger make the heart race?" My proposed answer is this: The heart WANTS to know only love, and by depriving the heart of love even for a minute while anger takes a hold of us, our heart grows frightened, like an infant suddenly yanked from its mother, yearning for the familiarity of comfort, of peace, of love. Our hearts don't desire to be overwhelmed with anger anymore than our lungs want to be clogged with tar, or our livers flooded with alcohol.
So the next time someone angers you, consider trying the above meditation, or at least looking closely at how anger affects you. I know I don't like the way anger hurts my body, which is why I chose to study this topic. We are a world plagued with anger and hatred, and as Ghandi once said, "If we follow the belief of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, the entire world would be blind and toothless." I already have poor eyesight and bad teeth; at this age, I would be wise to focus on nurturing my heart.
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