Thursday, May 31, 2012
Help...new blogspot platform
Anyone know how to create paragraph breaks with this new blogspot platform? My latest post looks silly, all one paragraph with no breaks. Thanks!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
9 Sanity-Preserving Tips for New Moms
(by a mom who learned the hard way)
New motherhood is a precarious situation. You leave the hospital with one more person than you entered with—a tiny life that will forever change your life. Your daily obligations will mount, and your values will likely shift, but you can, with a bit of consciousness and effort, still maintain a strong sense of who you are. Not only is it possible to preserve your individuality, but doing so is essential if you want to navigate your way through parenthood with some measure of freedom, happiness, and sanity.
Here are some tips to help you along the way:
1. Walk, don’t run. Even though your baby’s birth may have been medically assisted, motherhood from here on out is not an emergency. Unless your child is in real danger, each cry does not require you to drop everything and sprint to her rescue. In fact, if you wash and dry one last bottle before rushing to your baby, you might be slowly teaching her the art of patience.
2. Manage your chores. When your baby is asleep, let all nonessential chores sleep, too. If you can fold the laundry while your little one is awake, then wait and do it then. Parents need downtime, too, to rest, drink tea, read a book, or simply stare at the wall until the baby cries again.
3. Feed yourself first. This is like putting on your own oxygen mask first. If you are drained, you won’t have energy to help anyone else. Whenever possible, grab a quick snack before devoting yourself to nourishing your baby. Not only will you have more energy, but you will likely be in a better mood, as well.
4. Be social. Adults need adult face time. In a world where we tend to post status updates and send text messages more than we knock on each other’s doors, this requires some effort. Make a rule to get out of the house and talk to at least one person, other than your baby, each day. If you are too tired to get out, invite a friend over for tea. Sometimes, we think we need to be alone; it’s during those times that we actually need others more than we realize. Time spent with a friend can revitalize the most weary of new moms.
5. Keep your passions. And entertain them often. Unless your only pre-parenthood hobby was skydiving naked somewhere above the Amazon, don’t give up any cherished activity or interest. Find a way to fit your passions into your schedule. It’s easy to get discouraged if you used to take a painting class every Tuesday evening and you find that motherhood doesn’t allow for such a commitment. But instead of cutting out an activity altogether, try cutting back. If you can’t take that painting class every week, schedule it at least once a month. Keep your passions alive and they will keep the life in you.
6. Put your marriage first. That’s right. The foundation of a happy home life is a strong partnership. If that foundation is neglected, it will begin to crumble, leaving no platform upon which to build a happy family. If you truly want to give your child the gift of love, love and support your partner. When that love is given and then returned, there is a greater chance for success.
7. Schedule time for yourself. This is in addition to that art class or cup of tea with a close friend. Pencil in time to go for a drive or simply roam around a bookstore by yourself. Everyone needs a break from obligations, and some peace and quiet; we also deserve to listen to our favorite song at full volume and sing out loud to our heart’s content. Alone time helps us remember who we are and what we enjoy. When we appreciate who we are alone, we discover who we want to be with others. Our zest for life is renewed, and we are recharged in the event that the baby keeps us awake for yet another long night.
8. Ask for help. Before you need it. Yes, don’t wait until you are absolutely ready to lose your mind. Have a plan in place for regular assistance with certain chores or errands. Some of us like to live under the illusion that we don’t need anyone, that we can do it all ourselves. This is neither healthy nor realistic. If you don’t have friends or family to ask for favors, get involved in a babysitting co-op. Or trade favors with a neighbor. But don’t get trapped in the idea that every bit of help comes with a price. You are worthy of help. All moms are.
9. Demand help. If you sense an emotional problem—you lack patience with your spouse, you’re arguing more than ever, your passions no longer interest you, and you’re just not “yourself,” make an appointment with a counselor or therapist. Don’t ignore the signs, because depression can take over a household like weeds in a neglected garden. The majority of new parents are tired and overworked. The good news is that, with enough resources, we can begin making choices that will help us reclaim our happiness.
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